I start at the police station tomorrow, Im looking forward to it but now am feeling nervous about it.

I tried to sleep at 12am, I did but then woke up at 1am and cant get back to sleep :( I really miss Carl A LOT. Makes it worse that Ive just spent the weekend with him, now Im sleeping alone after them few days, I hate it. I normally spend tonight with him too but obviously cant tonight as Im going to the station tomorrow... makes me feel worse really, because I know this past month Ive never been a Sunday night without him, and now look :(

Feeling quite lonely right now. Whenever I see a little orange flash at the bottom of the screen, my heart skips a beat because I think it might be Carl coming online and sending me a msg. But I know it wont be, he's in bed for good now, but you always have that little hope deep down inside that it might be different.

Its nearly 3AM. Im gonna go see if I can sleep now... Or maybe not.

A police officer phoned me today asking about Monday when I start work there. It was exciting. He asked what kinda work I had planned on doing, I said anything and everything. He seemed pleased with that statement and said he will find something interesting for me to do.

Just listening to Pink Floyd Songs... really reminding me of Carl, especially Sheep. And Pigs because he told me the story behind it all (Mary Whitehouse!) Ohhhh I have a new fav Floyd song, 'Have A Cigar' TOTALLY loving it!!!! Why hadn't I listened to it sooner??

Was also listening to The Beatles earlier too, 'Let It Be' really reminded me of Carl.

I never want to be apart from him, I really truely hope things work out with us. I always want him all to myself, but understand he needs other people... even though he used to tell me Im all he ever needs/wants.

Im also meant to be starting work at the Royal Marines Musesum soon, aparently I can start as early as next week! I think I'll do Mondays and Tuesday at the police station, then Thursdays and Fridays at the Museum, entering data.

Dan is driving up to see Dee and Mark tomorrow, I would have gone with him but I start on Monday and I think hes there for a while.

Haven't seen my Dave in a while, he broke his leg :( But its okay now and we're going out drinking like the good times at some point soon, looking forward to that. A sort of Xmas thing.

Its Thanksgiving in the USA today... what the hell is with this?? Whats the point, I just dont get it. Its so close to Xmas so its kinda weird.

I've nearly got all of Carl's presents now, just one more thing to get. Hope he likes them all :)

I did some modelling tonight....

Yeah... it was my second time doing it with these people. I thought it was fun last time, so I did it again.
I had to do a couple of outfits, stuff from Principles, New Look, Gap, Top Shop... there were others but can't remember now. I loved all the outfits, shame I couldn't get the clothes for free though!! Bah!
It was scary but fun at the same time and was quite cool too because as soon as I walked in the woman in charge knew what size I were from just one glimpse! She knew last time too... Thought that was clever... but I guess it is her job, so :P Understandable.

Fun fun fun times!!

In other news, a week on Monday, I go to the police station again, and start work!!! :) Really looking forward to it now!

So my friend Cody from L.A called me today and yesterday. I love it when he does because I love his accent. And he seems to love mine too, no idea why but hey! Hes begging me to come to L.A soon, and to stay with him. I'd love to go back at some point in the future.

I'm hopefully about to start working at The Royal Marines Museum soon as a data entry clerk... and also hopefully the police. Can't wait!!!! Especially the police one.

I went and watched Saw 3 with Carl a week ago-was brilliant- great ending too!! Bit gruesome though but that is whats to be expected :P